Goodbye old friend

A week ago today, Matt and I took Kaya to the vet and had her euthanized. We had been putting it off for months, hoping she would die in her sleep or at home with us. We knew it was coming, she was wasting away in front of our eyes, she was loosing control of her bowels and she was afraid to go outside without us. She was old and she was sick. Ultimately I know we made the right decision, but it was tough.
We had been preparing the girls for months. "Kaya is really sick girls, she is going to die soon." "Be gentle with Kaya guys, she is really old..." Sydney would tell everyone who walked through the door that Kaya was old and going to die soon. As it became more apparent that Matt and I were going to have to make the decision we started to talk about it more. Death is not a topic that we have shied away from. We talk about Linda, who died before the girls were born, all the time. The girls know that Linda was very sick, so sick in fact that not even the doctors could make her better and she died. They know how sad that makes us and uncle Eric because we all miss her. I explained to the girls that Kaya was going to be with Linda and that Linda would be very excited to have a dog to love and massage. We talked about this idea all the time, Sydney was comforted by it and so was Lior until the day I made an appointment for Kaya to go to the vet.
I warned the girls before I made the phone call to the vet, "Kaya is going to die today or tomorrow." "Mommy, not today, not tomorrow, not ever!" "My dog is not going to die!" replied Lior. Lior was adamant that I not take her dog away and reminded me about it all day long. "Mommy I don't want my dog to die, not today, not ever!" We talked through it and she sat with Kaya and we had a good conversation:
Lior: "Mommy Hashem is everywhere right?"
Me: "Yes Lior he is."
Lior: "If he is everywhere, how will he take Kaya to Linda?"
Me: "He will leave her body here and take all the things we love about Kaya and bring them to Linda and then she will be everywhere too."
Lior: "Oh, but Kaya will be with Linda and her bunny right? and Hashem will bring her to Linda?"
Me: "Yes Liorie"
Lior: "Mommy I don't want my doggie to die."
Me: "I know Lior"
It has been a week and the girls are still asking for her. Today as I was bringing Jordan up for a nap she asked me why Kaya had to die and I just do not have a really good answer. I miss her, the house feels empty without her. Cyrus misses her. Today one of my neighbors yelled down the street that she was sorry to hear about Kaya. When Cyrus heard her name he came running with his ears up looking for her. I thought my heart would break.
I know Matt and I made the right decision. When we took Kaya to the doctor we weighed her and she was down to twenty nine pounds, she was so sick. I think she knew how much we all loved her and she could not let go. She did not want to leave the kids who loved her. She did not want to leave me, we had been such good friends for sixteen years. She did not want to leave our little family. I held her head while the Vet administered the drugs and looked in her eyes, I saw the pain leave her eyes. I believe that she looked at me and said thank you. I believe that she had had enough and was finally out of pain. Goodbye my friend, we love you, love you, love you!