Partnership

A few weeks ago I had a meeting with the girls new teacher at school. There were several concerns we were having about another student hitting Lior and how that was being dealt with in the classroom. I am not sure it is actually being dealt with but Lior is not telling me she is being hit anymore and Matt asked me to leave well enough alone. He is happy that she is not being hit. I think I would be happier knowing that both children were being taught how to get along and that there was a consequence for hitting, pushing or any other aggressive behavior for all children involved, especially Lior. But as I said I left well enough alone and will stick with the status quo for now.
I believe that there needs to be a line of communication between home and school in order for a child to be successful. This is something I thought I was establishing with the teacher when I set up the meeting and discussed the concerns I had and my plans for the girls in terms of potty training. I told her that I wanted to send Sydney into school in panties because she seemed ready. I explained that she would still need to be reminded to use the bathroom because she may not be willing to tell them she had to go. I was assured that potty training was not going to be an issue and they would do what ever needed to be done to help her achieve this goal. Sydney has had what we perceived as great success at school and given Lior's ability to stay dry, with occasional prompts, I sent her to school in panties this week.
Imagine my surprise when the school's director approached me today and suggested that I put them back into pull ups at school. I think had I known that this was the schools policy I would have taken a different approach to potty training at school and perhaps I should have been told this when I met with the teacher. The director explained that she knows that I feel strongly about this issue but this is what other schools have done in their two- year old program. I explained that the girls would not be taking a step backwards by being put into pull-ups again. I fully understand that it is hard to potty train kids in a school setting but I also know that with appropriate prompting and support it is not overly time consuming or a detriment to the other students in the room. It is a natural part of the learning process and should be incorporated into the curriculum.
I think the situation was handled badly. Rather than suggesting that the girls take a step backwards or be punished for having an accident, I would expect the teacher to approach me and ask for additional support. I think it would be much more appropriate and educationally relevant to devise some kind of reward system that they could use at school. While I was taking Sydney to the bathroom when we arrived at school I noticed that they have a sticker chart in the bathroom. I also noticed that it was not being used. At our meeting the teacher told me she would bring in a timer and use that to remind Sydney to use the bathroom, a great idea but I wonder if it is being used. There are ways to motivate children to use the bathroom in a school environment that can be incorporated into the school day and be made part of the routine. Needless to say I am surprised and more than a little angry that this is how they chose to deal with the situation.
I do not feel that the girls have had an excessive amount of accidents to warrant this kind of reaction. Sydney has had poopy accidents, one of which I cleaned up. Lior peed her first day in big kid pants and was completely dry today. I feel that they have not been given an adequate chance to make this transition and rather than risk hurting their self esteem and place a blemish on an otherwise positive experience I explained to the director that I would sooner pull them out of school than put them back in diapers.
After several conversations with my wonderful support system (mom, Leanne, and Joy) I feel that I am on the right track. They all told me that they have never met two kids who were more ready to be potty trained because they love going to the potty. They tell everyone they meet how they pee on the potty and that they wear big kid pants now. I am just not willing to take a step back when I am not convinced the school is trying to support my efforts. Are the girls being prompted to use the bathroom? Are the girls being taken to the bathroom before playing on the playground and being given ample time to use the toilet? Based on how fast Lior raced to the bathroom when we got home today I doubt she was taken before I picked her up.
Is there more that the school could do to support the potty training efforts, absolutely. Is there more that I can do to support their efforts, absolutely. My problem is that I was not asked for more support or any support prior to today. When the girls go back to school on Tuesday I will have devised a reinforcement plan and perhaps ask them to place the girls on a more rigid schedule to ensure that the girls are being prompted and taken to the bathroom.